Embrace What Is: The Beginning of Real Change
In this module, you’ll learn why true transformation starts with acceptance. Discover how embracing what is, your feelings, experiences, and inner parts, becomes the foundation for lasting change, deep self-love, and freedom from old patterns.
Embrace What Is
Getting to Know Your Parts: “Who is in the House?”
In this video, you’ll learn how to recognise and understand your inner parts: the protective voices and patterns that shape your reactions and emotions. By building a compassionate relationship with these parts, you’ll begin to reconnect with your core Self, release old patterns, and experience a deeper sense of balance, freedom, and authenticity.
Exercise: Who Is in the House?
A practice to recognise and connect with your inner parts
This exercise helps you identify which part of you is active in the moment, especially when you feel triggered, tense, restless, or emotionally unsettled.
You’ll use the sensations and feelings in your body as a doorway to discover the parts within you that are asking for attention. It’s a simple but powerful way to move from reacting to relating, from being inside a part, to being with it.
You can do this exercise in writing (with pen and paper) or by recording a voice note, or just mentally in your mind, whichever helps you stay most connected to yourself.
Step 1: Connect with What’s Present
Find a quiet, safe space where you can be undisturbed for a little while. Take a few slow breaths and gently turn your attention inward.
Notice what’s happening inside you right now. Is there an emotion, a tension, or a discomfort somewhere in your body? It might be subtle, or very clear, either is fine.
Now explore this experience through the following channels of awareness:
1. The Sensation Channel
What do you feel in your body? Is there tightness, pressure, heaviness, fluttering, or numbness? Describe it as precisely as you can.
2. The Image Channel
Do you see an image connected to this feeling? Perhaps a memory, a scene, or even a shape, colour, or symbol. Notice any posture or facial expression you sense. If you feel comfortable, gently mimic that posture, this can help bring the part’s energy into awareness.
3. The Sound Channel
What does this part sound like? What words, tone, or voice do you hear? Is it critical, urgent, soothing, sad, or quiet? Simply notice without judging.
4. The Emotion Channel
What emotion does this part carry right now? Anger, fear, shame, grief, frustration, guilt, sadness? Name it, and breathe into it.
5. The Movement Channel
Does this part want to move in any way; o withdraw, to cry, to stand tall, to shake, or stretch? If possible, follow that impulse gently and let your body express it.
Step 2: Identify the Part
Now that you’ve tuned in, ask yourself: “Who is in the house right now?” Which part of you has taken the lead in this moment?
It might be a protector part — such as:
- the inner critic, judging or blaming you,
- the pusher, telling you to do more or be better, or
- the comforter, wanting you to switch off or numb the pain.
If you recognise one of these, simply say to yourself:
“I notice that my [critic/pusher/comforter] part is here.”
You’re not trying to change or get rid of it, just recognising that this part has shown up and is trying to help in its own way.
Step 3: Meet the Part with Curiosity
Now that you see which part is here, take a moment to connect with it. Ask it, gently and sincerely, a few simple questions:
- What are you trying to do for me right now?
- What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do this?
- How long have you been doing this job?
Notice what comes; words, images, emotions, or sensations. Trust that whatever arises is enough.
Step 4: Look Beneath the Protector
Every protector part is usually guarding a younger, more vulnerable part, an exile, an inner child that carries pain, fear, or longing.
If it feels safe, ask your protective part:
“Is there another part you’re protecting?”
If an image, sensation, or emotion appears, stay curious and kind. You might notice a younger version of yourself, or just a feeling in your body.
Now go through the same awareness channels again, this time focusing on that younger part:
- Sensation: Where do you feel this child in your body?
- Image: How old might they be? What scene or memory comes up?
- Sound: What does this child want to say?
- Emotion: What are they feeling; fear, sadness, loneliness, shame?
- Movement: Does this younger part want to move, reach out, or be held?
Let the exile part express itself in whatever way feels natural. Stay with it, breathe with it, and simply be with what is.
Step 5: Integration
When you sense that something has softened or settled, that the part feels seen or acknowledged, take a few deep breaths and gently return to the present moment.
Notice how your body feels now. You might want to jot down a few reflections, or just sit quietly for a moment.
Afterwards, do something grounding and kind for yourself: drink some water, take a walk, stretch, or have a cup of tea. Allow yourself time to integrate and come back fully.
Remember: this is not about fixing or forcing anything. It’s about being present with compassion and curiosity, and allowing whatever needs your attention to unfold safely and gently.
A Final Note
Sometimes you’ll find one part, sometimes several. That’s completely normal. Simply follow what feels most alive and relevant in the moment. One layer at a time, like peeling an onion.
With each round, you’ll grow closer to your Self, the calm, compassionate centre within you that can hold all your parts with understanding and care.
And the more you do this, the more freedom, peace, and clarity you’ll experience. In yourself, and in your life.
You may also use the “Who is in the House” Guided Meditation
Keys to the Heart
Introduction to “Keys to the Heart” Meditation
Before you begin, take about 20–30 minutes in which you can be completely undisturbed.
With time and practice, you’ll be able to apply the Keys to the Heart in just a few minutes, but for now, take this opportunity to familiarise yourself with the process, step by step, and notice how it affects you.
Preparation
Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed for at least the next 20 minutes. Switch off your phone and any other sources of distraction.
Sit or lie down comfortably, take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and slowly centre yourself.
Now, choose something that feels present for you. Something that bothers, burdens, or unsettles you.
It might be:
- a physical discomfort or pain,
- a symptom or recurring tension,
- an everyday situation that upsets you (even if it “shouldn’t”),
- a specific person, moment, or event that has triggered emotion,
- or an old, familiar pain that you’ve carried for many years.
Whatever it is, don’t overthink or analyse. Simply tune in and allow what comes first. Trust that it’s the right thing. Your subconscious is always precise.
Once you’ve chosen what you’d like to work with, set a clear intention. This intention is a message to your conscious and subconscious mind: an invitation for all parts of you to participate.
You can use your own words or say quietly to yourself:
“I now want to explore my problem and discover what lies behind it.
Everything that arises is welcome.
I open myself to what is shown to me,
to get to know it, understand it,
and come to peace with myself and my inner parts.”
And now, let’s begin.
1. Connect with Yourself
Close your eyes, connect with your breath, and bring your chosen issue gently to mind.
Let it become present, perhaps through memories, images, or sensations. Stay aware of your breath and notice how your body reacts.
Does something appear; a pressure, pain, tightness, numbness, or emptiness? Just breathe and scan through your body, from your toes to the crown of your head. Notice your throat, chest, belly, pelvis, skin, the outer shell and the inner organs.
When something draws your attention, simply stay there. Breathe into that area and feel what’s there, without trying to change anything.
Just allow it to be as it is. Acknowledge it as part of you.
2. Name the Feeling
Now that you’ve located the sensation, begin to explore what feeling it carries.
If you’re unsure, gently ask yourself:
“What am I feeling here?”
Is it sadness, fear, worry, shame, despair, anger, bitterness, loneliness, or envy? You don’t need to think about it, just stay present and let the answer arise.
If you notice, “Ah, there’s anger,” or “There’s sadness,” simply allow it.
Breathe and feel.
Don’t resist.
3. Open Your Heart
Now that you’ve identified and connected with this feeling, you can open your heart to it.
Stay present with your breath and ask:
“What does this feeling need from my heart?”
Imagine a keychain with five keys: each one representing a quality of the heart. Try them one by one to see which key fits.
The five keys to the heart are:
- Recognition – “I see you. I acknowledge that you are here.”
- Permission – “I allow you to exist exactly as you are.”
- Compassion – “I feel with you.”
- Understanding – “I understand you. You have every reason to be here.”
- Respect – “I honour and respect you for existing.”
Sometimes, the feeling you meet is one you’ve long rejected, perhaps anger, envy, resentment, or desire. These parts often need dignity most of all. They need to be felt, understood, and respected, not corrected or explained away.
You might ask:
“What do you want from me?”
“What do you need?”
The answers might sound like:
“Stay with me.”
“Don’t leave me alone.”
“Hold me.”
“See me.”
If an image of a younger you appears, an inner child, a baby, a teenager, or even an older self, meet them with gentleness. You may imagine holding their hand, embracing them, or simply being present.
The most important thing is not to replace the feeling with another one or to distract yourself.
Let it be exactly as it is.
Give it what it truly needs: the key to the heart that resonates.
You’ll know when it’s right, you’ll feel a sense of relief, a softening. Sometimes tears will come. Let them.
Stay with what’s here and offer your presence. Perhaps your feeling needs several keys, that’s perfectly fine.
Remember: do not try to use the key called “love.” All five keys are love. The word itself can feel too abstract; these keys are love made practical.
4. Integration
When you feel a sense of ease or completion, express gratitude to what showed up. Slowly bring your awareness back to the room you’re in.
Take a deep breath.
Begin to move your hands and feet gently.
Stretch a little.
Take your time.
When you’re ready, open your eyes.
Welcome back.
Welcome to yourself.