3 Steps into Freedom: A Guided Path to Let Go of Guilt & Resentment
In this section, you’ll discover a powerful three-day process to release guilt and heal deep emotional wounds. Like a personal healing retreat, these steps, done in order, without interruption, will support a profound shift in your inner world. Set aside time, trust the process, and celebrate your freedom.
Forgiveness
STEP 1
Set aside around 90 minutes for this exercise.
If you wish to give yourself more time, that’s absolutely fine. Jjust make sure not to overextend it. This process should not last longer than two hours in one sitting.
Find a quiet, safe space where you will be completely undisturbed during this time.
1. Identify the People
Begin by identifying three people in your life who have caused you the greatest pain, injustice, or suffering.
Your benchmark here is not logic, it’s your feeling.
Even seemingly small or “insignificant” events can have left a deep emotional imprint.
Write down the names of these three people on a sheet of paper.
2. Begin the Process
For each person, you will start your writing with the sentence: “What I’ve always wanted to tell you…”
If you notice yourself thinking:
“Oh no, not again! I’ve already done forgiveness rituals, written letters, and processed all of this!”
Take a breath and recognise that as resistance.
Behind that resistance often lies exactly what wants to be seen and released.
You cannot bring up something that isn’t there.
If something still stirs, it means there’s a part of you asking for your attention.
Trust the process.
Your only task here is to stay with yourself, not to analyse or question it.
3. How to Write
Allow at least 25 minutes per person.
Set a timer if that helps you stay focused.
Visualise the person clearly in front of you.
Bring to mind the moments or situations where you felt hurt, unseen, or betrayed.
Let the feelings from those moments rise up again.
Then, start writing.
Keep your pen moving for at least 20 minutes, without stopping.
Yes, it must be handwritten.
If you feel stuck, simply write:
“I don’t know what else to say…” or “I can’t think of anything right now…” until something else comes.
This isn’t about neatness or structure.
It’s about letting energy move.
4. Stay on Your Side
In this exercise, you take sides: your own.
This is not the moment to understand or justify the other person.
You are not responsible for their part of the story.
Do not minimise, explain away, or sugar-coat anything.
This is your chance to tell your truth, fully and freely.
Be your own best advocate.
Let yourself express what was never said.
Release the energy that’s been locked inside.
Write until nothing new comes.
Then, move on to the next person and repeat the process.
If you feel there are more people you want to include, feel free to add them.
But ideally, complete all three letters on the same day.
5. After Writing
When you’ve finished, stop.
Everything that needed to be said has been said.
Do not talk to anyone about it for the next 72 hours.
This allows your system to integrate what you’ve processed.
If you feel emotional or unsettled, reach out to me for support.
Afterwards, do something nurturing: Go for a walk. Take a salt bath. Cook a meal you love. Watch a film, listen to music, read, or simply rest.
Whatever feels gentle and grounding for you.
Important
Do not move on to the next exercise until the following day.
Leave at least one night in between this step and the next.
This pause is essential. It allows your system to settle and the healing to begin integrating on a deeper level.
STEP 2
Set aside about one hour for this exercise, and ideally have another 90 minutes afterwards to rest and integrate.
As before, make sure you are completely undisturbed during this time.
1. Revisiting the Past
Take the letters you wrote yesterday to the three (or more) people who have caused you the most pain or suffering.
Find a quiet space, take a few deep breaths, and read them slowly, without judgement, without analysing, simply witnessing what you have expressed.
Allow the emotions, sensations, or insights to move through you.
Then, you will begin writing a new letter. This time, to yourself.
2. Writing to Yourself
Start your letter with a loving greeting to yourself, whatever feels most tender, natural, or affectionate. For example: “My dear…,” “Sweetheart…,” “Beloved me…”
And once again, let your pen glide across the paper. (Yes, this one must be handwritten too.)
This is a thank-you letter to yourself.
A letter of deep appreciation for all that you have lived, endured, learned, and become.
Thank yourself, especially for the pain you have felt, and for the courage it took to survive and keep going.
Thank yourself for your resilience, your growth, and your willingness to look inward.
Thank yourself for the lessons you’ve learned through hardship, for the wisdom that emerged from suffering, and for the strength that carried you here.
Write freely and generously.
Don’t miss anything.
You might even thank your soul for choosing to experience what it has, for the growth, the awareness, and the light that have come through it all.
Thank you for your courage.
Thank you for your strength.
Thank you for everything you’ve done, felt, changed, and created.
Thank you for turning pain into wisdom, and wounds into compassion.
Let every word flow naturally.
Let your heart speak.
3. Anchor the Experience
When you feel your letter is complete, when everything that needed to be said has been written, take time to honour yourself.
Do something kind and nurturing, something that feels like a reward.
It can be simple or special, but it should bring you genuine joy.
Perhaps you:
- Go for a long, beautiful walk
- Treat yourself to your favourite meal at a nice restaurant
- Buy yourself something meaningful, maybe flowers or a small gift
- Spend time in nature
- Or simply rest deeply
Whatever you choose, do it just for you and do not skip this step.
This act of self-honouring helps your nervous system anchor the experience of gratitude and self-recognition. It prepares you for the next and final step, the moment of complete release and liberation.
Important
As before, do not move on to the next exercise until the following day.
Leave at least one night between this task and the next.
This integration time is essential for the healing process to unfold fully.
FSTEP 3
This exercise will take around 90 minutes.
You are welcome to take more time if you need it.
As always, make sure you are completely undisturbed during this time.
1. A New Perspective
Take out the letters you wrote on the first day, the ones addressed to the three (or more) people who caused you pain.
Read them again slowly and consciously.
Feel what is still alive within you as you revisit those words.
And now, you are going to take a completely new perspective.
This time, you will write a new letter to each of these people, but from a place of freedom, not from the battlefield of guilt and pain.
In this letter, you will ask for forgiveness, for having made them the perpetrator, the guilty one, the aggressor in your inner story.
I know, this is the moment where your mind might resist or want to protest.
That’s completely natural.
Just remember:
On a higher level, beyond the human narrative of “right and wrong,”
there is no true victim and no true perpetrator.
This step is about liberating yourself and, by extension, them.
You are not doing this out of moral superiority or to appear forgiving.
You are doing it to free your heart, to dissolve the ties that keep you bound to suffering, and to reclaim your creative power, your ability to love fully again.
2. How to Begin
If you feel unsure of what to say, start simply.
Allow the words to come through you.
Begin with the sentence:
“I ask you for forgiveness for…”
And let your pen flow.
If you need inspiration, you might write things such as:
“I ask you for forgiveness for having made you the villain in my story.”
“I ask you for forgiveness for needing you to play that role so that I could feel like a victim.”
“I ask you for forgiveness for holding on to my pain and keeping myself small.”
“I ask you for forgiveness for believing I was powerless and for giving away my strength.”
“I ask you for forgiveness for viewing myself as righteous or morally superior because I was hurt.”
“I ask you for forgiveness for using this experience to justify not sharing my gifts, my truth, or my love.”
You may also notice other insights arising, perhaps you recognise how this person mirrored parts of you that you once rejected, or how your pain helped you discover strength, compassion, or depth.
Whatever appears, write it down.
Don’t analyse or censor.
Let the process unfold naturally.
3. Allow the Transformation
This step marks a profound turning point.
You are no longer bound to the roles of victim or offender.
You are stepping into a higher state of awareness, one where both can coexist in compassion, understanding, and light.
Keep writing until you feel complete, until you sense a softening, a release, a shift within.
And if this process feels especially difficult or overwhelming, please reach out to me.
It’s okay to ask for support.
Important
After completing this exercise, do not discuss it with anyone, except with me or another trusted professional for at least 24 hours.
Speaking about it too soon can disperse the emotional integration that is taking place on a deep level.
Give yourself time and space to rest afterwards.
Breathe. Go for a walk. Sit in silence.
Let the freedom you’ve opened begin to settle in your system.